I suppose one day I can start at the beginning, but for today, hello sweet sorrow.

An extremely close friend of mine has shut me out completely and I am at a loss for what to do. If it were an acquaintance, I would gingerly step back and become merely a bystander, unless that acquaintance were to seek help or I had the means to help him or her. However, this friend has been a shoulder to lean on for all my petty worries and has been selfless for years.

I love to be there for those who come to me, however I am quite a horrible person. Perhaps I am too selfish or too harsh, but I do know that there is no good to come of being acquainted to such a degree with me.

He has come to this realization, perhaps too late. He has not spoken with me, through the internet or in real life, for approaching 3 days. We have had a brief exchange (virtually), and I realized that if something ill has befallen him, he would not let me know.

That is how good of a friend, how wonderful of a person I am. Someone who I consider unbelievably dear disregards my abilities to help him.

I am a taker.


Why can I not give sufficiently?